


now what?

by mysticstephen



Category: Doctor Strange (2016), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, M/M, OR IS IT, One Shot, Post-Endgame, i just love angst so much, pls bare my raw talentless writing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-25
Updated: 2019-08-25
Packaged: 2020-09-07 04:55:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 920
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20303794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mysticstephen/pseuds/mysticstephen
Summary: Set after Tony's death but before his funeral.





	now what?

**Author's Note:**

> Set after Tony's death but before his funeral.

Stephen closed the Sanctum's door. After only walking a few steps down the street, he hid confusion on his face. He recognized most of the people he passed by. It could be his photographic memory or the result of years of medical assistance and care of hundreds of patients. The latter seemed, in retrospect, unlikely. He was unsympathizing to the patients he accepted to treat. That could be seen as a virtue since it would result in a cleaner medical record. However, Stephen knew the dissociation wasn't a choice of prevention. He became blind by the thrill of solving puzzles and saving the patients was a disguised reward.

The unnerving sensation lurked ever since Stephen moved back to New York.

In the short time he lived at Kamar-Taj, he would stay in. The few goods that weren't produced there, the long-time residents bought them from local sources. So, he spent most of his time studying, levelling up and widening his set of sorcery skills. Like in MED school, his ambition and hunger for knowledge would make him muffle his social needs. He went out for efficiency purposes, or in the somewhat rare occasions when he was in the mood for partying. He could be fun... if you could ignore the insatiable thirst for attention he needed towards him.

Now, he was alone... by choice still but with feeling great sorrow.

Like a doctor, being a sorcerer implies a great sense of selfless care, good intent and precise performance. But... Was that enough? His past attitudes corrupted his current actions. As part of the training, everyday introspection was needed. Yet, an overwhelming amount of doubt and pain that Stephen had only felt in the distant time, came along.  
  
"I'm fooling myself. I'll cause death again. I'll kill everyone trying to save everyone." Knife-like thoughts troubled him. He ignored them and tried walking again.

But he stopped and disoriented, he looked down.

He had walked four blocks when he started to feel his heart throbbing inside his chest cavity. He turned around and started walking again, accelerating his pace without running. He arrived at the Sanctum. His hands trembled in such an intense manner, he couldn't open the door making his state even worse. He finally managed to open the door, but he felt so rattled that no relief came. He quickly closed the door and his body became weak due to extreme lightheadedness. To avoid falling, he walked backwards, hitting his body against the door, making a loud striking noise on the old wood. He dropped to the ground to rest. A few seconds after, Stephen tilted his head upwards glaring at the entry room. He realized he had had, at that moment, a panic attack. He tried seeking comfort but found only cold helplessness echoing.

"What have I done?" He started crying like a lost child.

Wong sought the source of the rumble, tracing it to the front door.  
He saw Stephen in emotional menace.

"Stephen, what happened?" He stood confused.

"Could we have done it differently? Could he have survived?"

It only took two seconds. He knew whom Stephen was talking about.

The state Stephen presented was precarious and worrying. Wong measured his words with care and promptitude, as he knew what he was going say, would either alleviate or aggravate the situation.

Wong knelt before Stephen.

  
"Of course there wasn't any other solution. 14 million possible futures told you that."

"I got him killed."

"He chose his own fate."

"Only because I made him unaware of MY plan... to later make him feel he had to sacrifice his own life."

"Listen, Stephen." He paused for a few seconds to make his point clear. "You know since you entered that door in Kamar-Taj, your path would not be easy. The Ancient One believed that you could protect this world, as well as the accessible realities from any danger. This has been your most difficult trial but I know you will overcome it."

"Being a doctor is part of my identity and it has been shaping the way I am as a sorcerer. Tony was not the first to die at my fucking shaky hands. There will be a time I will have to kill even more people as a preventive measure. What will I do then, Wong?"

"Then you come to me. You're not alone, Stephen. There are a great number of sorcerers inside and outside Earth and you should rely on us. The fact you followed through with your plan only makes evident this is where you should be."

"Wong, I-"

"I'm sorry you had to see him and all the people die. Your mind lived each of those possible futures and it needs to rest."

  
Wong put his right arm behind Stephen's back and slowly picked him up. When Stephen stood more confidently on his feet, he took the opportunity and embraced Wong in a tight hug.  
Once he felt more reassured, Stephen let go of him.

Wong, as a natural charmer, quickly changed the tone of their interaction.  
  
"Come, Stephen, tonight you'll join me in making dinner."

"Do I have to?"

"Yes, you do. Go to the terrace, pick some vegetables and fruit. Then we'll see what we can cook with what you bring to the kitchen."

  
Stephen had sling ring with but chose to walk to the terrace. While he went up to the stairs and Wong walk forward, he stopped for a brief moment and interrupted Wong.

  
"Wong?"

"Yes?"

"Thank you." He said slowly.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm thinking of writing Stephen going to the funeral and his interactions there with other characters to establish new relationships.


End file.
